How to Have Great Relationships with Eric Barker

If I asked you to list all of the relationships in your life, we’d be here a while, wouldn’t we?! From friendships to romances and everything in between. We’re human, and God designed us to engage with others! That’s why I’m so excited to share this insightful conversation with Eric Barker, the Internet’s resident relationship expert.

Of course, you know, I just had to ask him what made him decide to dive into the science of relationships in the first place, and his answer did not disappoint my friends! 

Listen in as Eric talks to us about how he challenged some of the age-old relationship advice we’ve all received with science and skepticism. And how that experience led him to more fulfilling friendships, love, and community. This is so, so good.

Eric Barker is the author of The Wall Street Journal bestseller “Barking Up the Wrong Tree,” which has sold over half a million copies and been translated into 19 languages. It was even the subject of a question on “Jeopardy!” His new book, “Plays Well with Others,” was released earlier this month.

Listen in to learn more about:

• What surprised Eric the most in his research for this book on relationships, [Hint: It has absolutely everything to do with friendships!]
• How to navigate negative and positive sentiment override and how they impact our relationships
• Productive ways to begin an argument or hard discussion that preserves both parties’ humanity in the conversation

Favorite quotes:

~Friendships make us happier than any other relationship yet friendships don’t get the kind of respect or attention because friendship is completely voluntary.  

~ We are just not that good at reading others. Human beings in general default to trust and cooperation. We do want information but not all the information. In some ways it is our brain trying to protect us. 

~ Screaming matches only lead to divorce 40% of the time. The issue is that you scream when you care and when you stop screaming you stop caring. What precedes divorce is  living parallel lives where you don’t interact and don't yell and scream, because you don’t even care anymore.

~ The four things that are more predictive in divorce are all to do with how you talk, how you communicate. They are - Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt.

~ Friendship Is fantastic, makes us happier than anything else but there’s a whole new level of synergy when friends become a group, a community. 

Links to great things we discussed: 

Memento Theme song - David Julyan

Severance - TV Series 

Ozark - TV series

Amazon Kindle - App

Bose Noise canceling headphones - Amazon

Plays well with others - Book

Barking up the wrong tree- Eric Barker's previous  book

Eric Barker's website

Doctor Strange - Movie

Ray LaMontagne ft. Sierra Ferrell - I Was Born to Love You

Bare Minerals - Well rested eye brightener

Confident Motherhood Community

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli