The Alli Worthington Show

How to Transform Your Relationships with Three Little Words with Mark Batterson

Hey hey! We all want to live and work in happy, healthy spaces, but how do we create them? How do we build a culture where people enjoy being together and working together?  Those are big questions, but what if I told you it all starts with three little words we all learned as kids?  I chat with pastor and author Mark Batterson about these concepts from his new book, Please, Sorry, Thanks: The Three Words That Change Everything. Mark and I talk about how those words- please, sorry, thanks- set the tone in the places we lead.  Join in on this conversation as we discuss:  What Mark calls “the crown jewel” of emotional intelligence Why vulnerability is so critical, especially for leaders One of the hardest lessons Mark learned in leadership Two rules of life for leaders that will change how you see people How gratitude can change your life, and why it is so vital for your soul Mark blesses us with wisdom every time he visits. Last year, Mark shared how we  have to 3-M our habits. We have to make them measurable, we have to make them meaningful, and we have to make them maintainable. Catch that episode here! Mark Batterson serves as lead pastor of National Community Church and is the author of over 20 books, including his latest, Please, Sorry, Thanks: The Three Words That Change Everything. Mark and his wife, Lora, have three children and live in Washington, D.C. Favorite quotes: ~~“When it comes to creating culture or a happy healthy family system or just a place you want to work, those cultures are really good at please, sorry, and thanks.” ~~“Nothing opens doors like a please. Nothing mends fences like a sorry. Nothing builds bridges like a thanks. More than words, they have to become a lifestyle.” ~~“In all relationships you have to get really good at sorry because you are going to have to reset all the time.” ~~“Whatever you don’t turn into praise turns into pride so we have to get really good at giving thanks.” ~~“You don’t see the world as it is. You see the world as you are and if you are filled with gratitude you are going to find things every single day that you can be grateful for even if it is a tough day.” Coaching this week:  How to use social media in friendships that won't leave you feeling lonely. (35:47) Links to great things we discussed:  Mark Batterson Website  Please, Sorry, Thanks: The Three Words That Change Everything The Best Worst Day Ever Mark Batterson Instagram Vacation - Dirty Heads Top Gun: Maverick Thirteen Lives Nespresso Machine Tear Catcher Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Nourish Your Soul with Amy Seiffert

Hey friend! Is it hard to put down your phone, even when you realize you’re numbing out? Is distraction really a bad thing? And what can we do to get back on track after it’s gone too far? Today’s episode is a great conversation with author Amy Seiffert about all the things we consume that are filling our minds but starving our souls. Amy and I get super practical in our discussion on how we can replace spiritual junk food with things that will nourish the center of who we are.   Listen in as we talk about:  Two things we tend to think of as helpful that can actually do more harm than good Three practices you can start incorporating this week to care for your soul How small, simple shifts can have a game-changing impact on our lives Why Sabbath rest is so important and why there are fewer (and better!) rules around Sabbath than you may think The crucial role of community in our lives, why women often push it to the back burner, and the power of encouragement  Amy Seiffert is a speaker and author of two books, including her latest, Starved: Why We Need a Spiritual Diet Change to Move Us from Tired, Anxious, and Overwhelmed to Fulfilled, Whole, and Free. Amy lives with her husband and their three children in Ohio.  Favorite quotes: ~“I will be consuming and taking in various things but it is starving my soul. We need a spiritual diet change.” ~“How often because of the noise and the distractions, we can’t even hear what God might be saying.” ~“Start with silence and put the phone down. Practice looking outside and sitting there and not producing or pushing just letting yourself be loved.” ~“What would it look like to take a whole day and everyone you encounter, you practice saying to yourself, “I see an image bearer.” You begin to restore dignity, value, and worth to every person in front of you.” ~“It is a small shift but that very small shift is going to have a phenomenal impact on our spiritual health, emotional health, and mental health.” ~“What would it look like every time we meet to think in your brain when I show up part of my job in our community is to encourage?” Coaching this week:  How to honor your priorities in your friendships (25:33) Links to great things we discussed:  Amy Seiffert Website  Starved: Why We Need a Spiritual Diet Change to Move Us from Tired, Anxious, and Overwhelmed to Fulfilled, Whole, and Free Amy Seiffert Instagram Shrinking The Making of Biblical Womanhood Gratitude - Brandon Lake MAC Cosmetics Eyeshadow - Satin Taupe Urban Decay Eyeshadow Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Practice Compassion with Aundi Kolber

Hey friend! Does it ever feel like you’re living in survival mode? You know that feeling where you find yourself constantly saying, “if I can just get through one more day, things will be better”? I know I have! But what does it really take to move out of survival mode? How do we find a place a safety and compassion for ourselves (and others) as we process and move past what we’ve been through? Trauma-informed therapist Aundi Kolber joins me on the show today to tackle those questions and more!  Aundi is a licensed professional counselor, and while we can’t all be her clients, we can all access the wisdom she shares in her two books, Try Softer and Strong Like Water.  This is a rich conversation about emotional health, and I’m so excited to share it with you.  Join in as we talk about:  How the last three years have affected all of us (and why it makes sense if you’re not “over it”) Steps we can take to build safety in ourselves, with each other, and in our spaces like churches and schools The surprising way compassion impacts our nervous system The different styles of attachment, and why “good enough” parenting really is good enough  Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor and author of two books, including her most recent, Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing. Aundi lives with her family in Castle Rock, CO.  Favorite quotes: ~“Trauma is anything that overwhelms our nervous system's capacity to cope.” ~“How we experience is something at least as important as the event itself.” ~“Getting yourself outside is a great place to do grounding. Nature is so soothing to us and really regulating to our nervous system.” ~“We are designed for more. Both our fierceness and softness are God-given.” ~“Our relationship with ourselves is influenced by our attachment style.” ~“Secure relationships have an internal sense of predictability that when you have needs others around who care for you will do their best to meet their needs to the extent they are able.” ~“One way to begin is to become aware of our attachment style.” Coaching this week:  1. Bundling Friend Time: Getting enough friend time, especially during busy seasons. (38:15) Links to great things we discussed:  Aundi Kolber Website  Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing Aundi Kolber Instagram Aundi Kolber Twitter Slow - JOHNNYSWIM Ted Lasso How to Keep House While Drowning - KC Davis Creed 3 Benefit Fluff Up Brow Wax Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Manage Your Time Well with Crystal Paine

Hey hey! Have you been overwhelmed with all there is to do or wondered how to make it all happen? Maybe you’ve wondered how to prioritize better what is most important to you? Me too, and today’s guest is here to help us with that! Crystal Paine is one of the wisest women I know, and she (literally) wrote the book on time management: The Time-Saving Mom. We had a great conversation about how to make the most of our days and spend them well, and I think you’ll find some practical help and encouragement here! Listen in as Crystal and I discuss:  Crystal’s 4-step system for feeling less frazzled in the midst of a busy life The most challenging piece of managing our time (and why our mindset is so important!) Two foundational questions you can ask to reduce decision fatigue One thing to keep in mind to help you focus on what really matters When Crystal visited with us last year, we dove into love-centered parenting, mom guilt, and what happens when we let our kids make mistakes. She shared the emotional journey with one of her children, who was experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing a difficult season, you can find practical wisdom and hope here. Crystal Paine is an entrepreneur and New York Times Bestselling author of multiple books, including her newest, The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most. Crystal and her husband, Jesse, live in Nashville, TN, with their six children (three teens and three under three!).  Favorite quotes: ~“You need to know where you are going with your day.” ~“A Time Blocked To-Do list gives you freedom because you can be fully present where you are.” ~“We can change our life by making little choices every day that add up to a big change over time.” ~“Change your mindset and you are going to change your life.” ~“There are very few things that are actually going to matter in 25 years and it allows me to let a lot of things go and focus on what really matters.”  Coaching this week:  Our kids may make life meaningful, but relationships make life happy. (39:17) Links to great things we discussed:  Crystal Paine Website  The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most Crystal Paine Instagram 24 TV Series Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools Your Son Can Build On for Life - David Thomas Google Calendar Clean Angel Cleaning Products Poker Face TV Series 1 Second Everyday Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Heal From the Inside Out with Debra Fileta

Hey friend! Our emotional health is crucial to our well-being, but sometimes it’s hard to know exactly how to get there or even what to do. What does it look like for us to move toward healing from the inside out? I invited my friend Debra Fileta on the show to walk us through those questions and talk about the practical side of emotional health. Debra is a licensed professional counselor and has written a new book called RESET, which is all about healing from the inside out. Listen in as we talk about:  Why self-care really is soul care (and not made up or selfish!) What triggers can tell us and how we can welcome them instead of avoid them How children learn about emotional health One exercise you can do in the next 24 hours to start to identify your thought patterns Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and host of the Love + Relationships podcast. She is the author of six books, including her latest, RESET: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. Debra and her husband, John, live with their four children in Lancaster, PA. Favorite quotes: ~~“Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it never will. Your mindset is 90% of the battle.” ~~“Our thoughts lead to our feelings which then lead to our behaviors. So when you are thinking negative thoughts and are hopeless, the truth is your life is going to follow suit.” ~~“It is hard work to get healthy, but it is harder work to stay unhealthy.” ~~“We need to understand the underlying thoughts that are leading to the underlying feelings that are impacting our behavior. We can't just expect to change from the external.” ~~The spirit can give us what we need to not continue to do things in an unhealthy way and live an abundant life the way Jesus calls us to here and now.” Links to great things we discussed:  Debra Fileta Website  RESET: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life Debra Fileta Instagram Goodness of God The Chosen Magnetic Bookmarks Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Build Resilient Faith in your Children with David Kinnaman

Hey friend! Have you seen so many people- on social media, in your own life, or both- walking through deconstructing their faith? Why is that happening? Is there anything we can do to help our kids build a faith they won’t have to tear down?  I brought in a friend to talk through these things with me. David Kinnaman, the CEO of the leading research company, Barna Group, did years of research to try to answer those questions, and he’s here to share some of his insights with us.  David spent many years researching why people leave the Church, and then he and his team asked, “What can we learn from those who stay?” The results were fascinating!  Listen in as David and I talk about:  5 practices of young people who have a resilient faith What the story of Daniel in Scripture teaches us as we navigate a digital world Why is oversimplification an enemy of faith? One profound question we have to ask ourselves as Christian parents raising children of faith  The importance of work and how our work and faith are connected. David Kinnaman is the CEO of Barna Group and author of multiple bestselling books, including Faith for Exiles: 5 Ways for a New Generation to Follow Jesus in a Digital Babylon. David has three children and lives in Fort Worth, Texas.  Favorite quotes: ~“Things have sped up so much that the ability of our families and churches to stay up with what it means to live a fully human and fully Christian life is really changing.” ~“Being ready and prepared and having deep roots into what God says about us, those are the things that are most important.” ~“We’re doing dial-up ministry in a WiFi world.” ~“Young people really want to learn and I think a lot of churches do a disservice by oversimplifying the message of the Christianity.” ~“We have a more American vision of what it means to be a young adult than we have a Christian vision of what it means to be a young adult.” ~“Let’s give away the fear and instead focus on what God has for us.” Links to great things we discussed:  Barna Group Faith for Exiles Awake - Hillsong My Blood - Twenty One Pilots The Mandalorian 1917 The Tech-Wise Family The Lord of the Rings  Tolkien Shrinking So Close - Brandon Lake and Amanda Cook The Lives We Actually Have Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

Why Your Story Matters with Beth Moore

Hey hey! I’m so glad you’re here, friend. I’m delighted to have Beth Moore with me today, as we discuss mental illness–a tender topic that many of us have experienced either ourselves or alongside someone we love.   In this fantastic conversation, Beth and I talk about the stories she shares in her new memoir, All My Knotted-Up Life, many of which she’s sharing publicly for the first time. Join Beth and I as we unpack:  The prevalence of mental illness, how it affects people we love, and why it is worth it to Beth and her family to share their story.  What she would say to the woman who struggles with the calling on her life and the reasons she can’t or shouldn’t do it. Why  authenticity is so important in our daily lives. The most tender part of the audiobook for Beth to record.  Talking with Beth is always a blessing. On her last visit to the show, she shared how to know if you are actually called or if it’s your own desires. And why I almost killed a man on Mount Olympus in her honor. You can catch that episode here. Beth Moore is the founder and visionary of Living Proof Ministries, an international Bible teacher, and bestselling author of numerous Bible studies and books. Her newest book, a memoir titled All My Knotted-Up Life, is a must-read for anyone who needs to be encouraged by a woman’s resilience and God’s faithfulness. Beth and her husband, Keith, have two grown daughters and three grandchildren and live outside of Houston, Texas. Favorite quotes: ~“Do the next thing that God puts on your heart that is a benefit to someone in his name.” ~“God is training you as you do it. He is even training you through what you learn you are not called to.” ~“Real life baggage and real life complications do not disqualify us from ministry.” ~“There are so many people dealing with mental illnesses in their homes and hiding in it as if it is a shame of some kind.” Links to great things we discussed:  Living Proof Ministries Website  Beth Moore Instagram  All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir Beth Moore Twitter I Speak Jesus Endless Praise Promises The Crown All Creatures Great and Small Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Love Your Spouse Well - The Best of Love

Hey friend! What if you could get some of the best marriage advice from multiple experts all in one place? That would be a game-changer, right?!  In celebration of Valentine’s Day tomorrow, that’s exactly what we’re doing today! I have pulled together some of my favorite marriage advice we’ve gotten here on the show over the last year to give you the best of love.   These marriage tips come from three experts with different perspectives and wisdom we could all use when it comes to our marriage (and our relationships!).  No marriage is perfect, but these tips will help you build that connection and strengthen the most important relationship in your life.  Listen in as we talk about :  The two buckets we carry into every conflict, and the importance of one of those buckets in building a marriage with Kevin Myers Four red flags in relationships and what we can do about them with Toni Nieuwhof Tips for staying connected in your marriage and the worst choice you can make when you feel disconnected from your spouse with Gary Thomas Kevin Myers has been married to his wife and co-author, Marcia, for nearly forty years. The Myers have four grown children and two grandchildren, and live in Georgia, where Kevin is senior pastor at 12Stone Church.  Toni Nieuwhof has worked as a divorce attorney and knows what it’s like to wish your marriage was better. She and her husband, Carey, have weathered the ups and downs to have a great marriage, and now Toni helps others do the same through books, courses, and podcasts.  Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling author of over fifteen books, including Sacred Marriage, which has sold over one million copies. Gary and his wife, Lisa, have been married for nearly forty years. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.  Favorite quotes: ~“You need to be in the life of prayer to accomplish only what God can accomplish and make possible in a marriage relationship.”    - Kevin Myers ~“We tend to use marriage rather than build it.””  - Kevin Myers ~“A much healthier approach to marriage is to recognize what you really want is to elevate your bond and marriage connection higher than your own individual interests.”   - Toni Nieuwhof ~“One of the best ways you can give security to your kids and give them that solid loving foundation is to love your spouse really well and make your marriage a priority.”    - Toni Nieuwhof ~“An emotionally connected marriage makes the difficulties easier to bear and the fun times that much more delicious to enjoy.”   - Gary Thomas ~“Intimacy is dependent on security. You can’t be intimate with somebody that you don’t feel secure with.”   - Gary Thomas Links to great things we discussed:  Kevin Myers Website Kevin Myers Episode The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon Toni Nieuwhof Website Toni Nieuwhof Episode Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage Gary Thomas Website Gary Thomas Episode Making Your Marriage a Fortress: Strengthening Your Marriage to Withstand Life’s Storms Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania Firm Foundation The Coach School Join the Confident Motherhood Community here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Talk About with Your Spouse with Shaunti Feldhahn

Hey hey! If you’ve ever wondered if you’re normal  regarding what you and your spouse do behind closed doors, this conversation is for you! Today, my friend Shaunti and I are talking about those things married people do in the bedroom. Before you get bashful and bow out, I promise we will use comfortable language for this often-uncomfortable topic. This conversation isn’t for little ones but is vital for married couples, and you don’t want to miss out on it! These insights are game-changers.  Shaunti has spent years on this intimate kind of research. We are going there today, discussing the questions that are sometimes difficult to ask Tune in to our conversation as we chat about: Why money and intimacy are so tough to talk about How can we open the conversation, so both spouses feel more comfortable talking about their needs The real reason we all want to know if we’re normal behind closed doors What most couples don’t know about desire I love how Shaunti helps us normalize talking about what matters to us this week. Did you catch her when she joined us to talk about how to find joy and happiness regardless of what’s going on around us?  Listen to that episode here. Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated social researcher, speaker, and best-selling author of researched-based books, including her most recent, Secrets of and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, have co-authored several books together, including For Couples Only. They have two children and call Atlanta home.  Favorite quotes: ~“Those people who could talk about their intimate lives were far more likely to be satisfied with their intimate lives and to be connecting much more often.” ~“The key is that you have to talk about what matters to you.” ~“One way to get started is to dig into some of those heart issues with your spouse.” ~“Whoever has the initiating desire has to recognize your spouse is going to be making a decision based on how they feel about you that day and how close you are.” Coaching this week:  How do I convince my loved ones that coaching is a real and viable business?   (37:41) Links to great things we discussed:  Shaunti Feldhahn Website  Shaunti Feldhahn Instagram  Secrets of and Marriage Shaunti’s First Episode Hymn of Heaven The Crown Ghost Fleet  Triple Threat Color Stick I Wanna Dance with Somebody Last of Us The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent The Coach School Join the Confident Motherhood Community here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Finally Start (or Grow) Your Business

If you’ve heard me talk about The Coach School and wondered, “Is this for me?” or “Is now the time?” this episode is for you! If you’re not a coach, stick around because this conversation may change your mind! In a fun twist, my friend Sahar Twesigye is taking over the show today, and I’m answering the questions! With Sahar’s help, I’m giving you an inside look at all things The Coach School.  Listen in on this conversation with Sahar and me as we talk about :  The two messages I kept hearing (and still hear!) from women that made me build The Coach School What kinds of coaches the world needs Why The Coach School may be a game-changer for you, even if you don’t think of yourself as a coach What you really need to know about a recession (and why it can be a great time to start or build your business!)   Sahar Twesigye is a multi-passionate entrepreneur and speaker. She is crazy about marketing and can help you with your own via her Pinterest course (you don’t want to miss that!). Sahar and her husband, Andrew, live in London with their four young children.  Favorite quotes: ~“The world needs great coaches who are values-driven and who want the best for people.”  ~“With the Coach School I wanted for you to have all the curriculum of a course but you also have people to help you. It is a very high-touch program.” ~“We need to get out of that scarcity mindset to invest in ourselves, our future, and our business.” ~“Women need help no matter how successful we look on the outside. Women need help.” ~“You will never feel like you are ready and you will never feel like the time is right. If we wait until we feel confident and have enough time we are going to be waiting forever.” ~“Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself because you can change the course of life for your family and it is a legacy to leave for your children.”  Links to great things we discussed:  Sahar Twesigye Website  Sahar Twesigye Podcast  Sahar Twesigye Instagram  Sahar Twesigye YouTube The Chosen Join The Coach School here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli