The Alli Worthington Show

What Women Get Wrong About Boundaries with Sasha Shillcutt

Continuing our series, “Your Work Matters”, today we are talking about boundaries at work, balance, and avoiding common pitfalls as women with our work. I’m with my good friend and client, Dr. Sasha Shillcutt.  Sasha is a physician, gender equity researcher, speaker, author, wife, mom of four amazing kids, and Founder and CEO of Brave Enough.  Sasha’s book, Brave Boundaries teaches us strategies for saying no, standing strong, and taking control of our time.   Join Sasha and I as we talk about: (04:12) What women get wrong about boundaries (05:04) Being afraid to have boundaries, especially in the workplace (06:14) Boundary backlash (09:03) Feeling confident in responses to extra work (13:46) Importance and impact of women in the workplace (16:12) Common types of self-sabotage (17:58) Moving forward from the fear of failure   Favorite quotes: (04:29)   “Boundaries are more about keeping the good in than they are about keeping the bad out.”    (04:46)  “The more we love people in our lives, want to serve people in our lives, and the more we want to show up as fully ourselves, the more boundaries we need.”    (06:47) )“I always remind myself I want to be a person who shows up and does the good work on my job description. If it's not on your job description, you aren't required to do it. Or if it's more than your job description, it's an opportunity for you to see if you want to do it or not. Then the boundaries, really, and the power lies within you because I always say, ‘You would much rather be a woman who's respected than a woman who's liked.’”   (17:54)  “...We often self-sabotage because we are so afraid of failing at things, things being hard, not getting it right, and making mistakes that we just take ourselves out of the game.”   Coaching this week:  (37:02) In our Coaching this week, we talk about delegation.  Delegation helps us stay focused on the work that only we can do - our zone of genius.  Most people are terrible at delegating.  Listen as I share three non-obvious tips for mastering delegation.      ( 38:29)  1 - Embrace the art of ‘good enough’. (39:40)  2 - Play to people’s strengths - not just what you want to get rid of. (40:58)  3 - Communication and trust are key.   Recommendation (43:23) My recommendation for the week is a light therapy light.  It’s a tiny change that will give you a big result in your life.     Links to great things we discussed:  Sasha Shillcutt Website Sasha Shillcutt Instagram Brave Boundaries Brave Enough Women’s Conference 2024 Zach Bryan Slow Horses The Crown The Big Leap Lano Hands Light Therapy Lamp Alli on YouTube The Coach School Build Your Coaching Business Quick Start   Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

Busting Myths: Sacred vs. Secular with Jordan Raynor

Today, my friend Jordan Raynor and I are talking about the sacredness of our secular work. Join us as we dive into what we think about work in light of eternity.  Jordan Raynor is an author, podcast host, and executive chairman of Threshold 360.  Through his bestselling books, the Mere Christians podcast, and his weekly devotionals, Jordan has helped millions of Christians in every country on earth connect the gospel to their work.  In this episode, Jordan shares insights from his new book, The Sacredness of Secular Work, and reminds us that our daily jobs have significance for eternity even when we are not explicitly sharing the gospel.  Join Jordan and I as we talk about: Value of our daily secular work (05:59) Rehearsing for eternity (12:15) Half-truths for heaven (10:16) Most surprising discoveries from Jordan’s research (21:37) The anti-bucket list (23:00) Tips for how to make disciples (27:12) Using conversation launchers to have more intentional conversations (27:54) Favorite quotes:  05:59 - “The value of secular work depends upon the value of creation and the value of creation depends on what God's going to do with this creation in the end.” 10:16  - “The half-truths of heaven rob our joy and purpose in the present and hope for the future.”  12:15  - “The very same thing I am doing today is simply rehearsing something that is eternal and one day will be perfectly consummated with Christ on the new Earth.” 20:21 - “We mere Christians working as entrepreneurs and baristas in the pews inevitably feel guilty about working in the very places most likely to make disciples of Jesus Christ.” 27:27 - “When you understand that 100% of your time at work matters for eternity and not just the 1% of the time you spend walking somebody through the Romans Road, you are fully alive and fully alive people attract the lost like honey attracts bees.” Coaching this week: 42:12 We are wrapping up our Clarity Questions for 2023.  These questions are a bit more fun, but just as important as the last two weeks have been.  Pause and journal your answers to get the most out of this time. 1)  What are three words to describe the past year and why? 2)  What did I learn about myself this year? 3)  Were there any risks I avoided out of fear? 4)  If you could travel back to the beginning of the year, what advice or encouragement would you tell yourself? 5)  What would your 90-year-old self advise you to pursue right now? Recommendation 46:48 A skincare tip involving Aquaphor  Exclusive Bonus Content 49:15 YouTube viewers get exclusive bonus content, including this week’s movie review of Wonka and a bonus review of Paddington 2. Links to great things we discussed:   Jordan Raynor Website Jordan Raynor Instagram The Sacredness of Secular Work: 4 Ways Your Job Matters for Eternity Redeeming Your Time: 7 Biblical Principles for Being Purposeful, Present, and Wildly Productive Mere Christians Podcast Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift Evernote The Crown The West Wing King: A Life The Intentional Father Alli on YouTube The Coach School 3 Secrets to Become a Successful Coach and How to Get Clients Fast Aquaphor Wonka  Paddington 2  Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Hear From God with Havilah Cunnington

Welcome to the show. You are in the right place today!  Today we are tackling something that we all care about deeply- hearing from God with my friend Havilah Cunnington. Hearing God’s voice is one of the greatest gifts we have been given. Often though we feel frustrated as if we are doing something wrong but really the key is that we need to discover the unique way God speaks to us.  Havilah Cunnington is a Bible teacher, author, small business owner, and itinerant speaker obsessed with helping people live the abundant life God has called them to live.  Havilah’s new book, Created to Hear God: 4 Unique and Proven Ways to Confidently Discern His Voice teaches that God speaks to each of us differently and the key to understanding the unique way He speaks to us is through our prophetic personality. Join Havilah and I as we talk about:  When Havilah and Alli first met How we know if we are hearing from God or just ourselves 3 core values for hearing from God The 4 prophetic personalities and understanding your prophetic personality   Favorite quotes: “There’s a recording of what you said to me that night…[I thought] my sweet little Southern Baptist heart doesn't understand this, but there is a more charismatic part of the church that gets it and feels comfortable hearing from God.  And it was later after that you told me, ‘We hear from God in different ways’.  And you went through all of that and it changed my life forever.” - Alli Worthington (Youtube 5:27) (Audio - 4:41)   “What I've learned about God is that he really doesn't care what our title is or what we theologically know. He knows us - our personhood.  He knows our hopes, our dreams. He knows our future. He knows what happened in the past. He knows the secrets of our hearts.” - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 9:16) (Audio - 8:13)   “God did not make a mistake when he made us, and he made us how we are.” - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 9:43) (Audio - 8:40)   “There are three voices that we consistently hear. We hear ourselves, we hear God, and we hear the enemy.” - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 16:08) (Audio - 13:12)    “The prophetic is simply how God shows up in the world.  Personality is how you show up in the world. I like to put them together, calling it prophetic personality.”  - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 18:30) (Audio - 15:28)   “We want to hear God’s voice because you can’t have a relationship without His voice.” - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 19:15) (Audio - 16:10)   “We don’t learn to hear God’s voice. We have been created to hear God’s voice.”  - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 20:24)  (Audio - 17:12)    “God is always speaking.”  - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 21:24) (Audio 18:10)   “Everyone deserves to hear God’s voice.”  - Havilah Cunnington (Youtube 36:45)   Coaching this week:  5 Power Packed Clarity Questions (YouTube 38:00 ) (Audio 33:35) Links to great things we discussed:  Havilah Cunnington Website Havilah Cunnington Instagram Created to Hear God: 4 Unique and Proven Ways to Confidently Discern His Voice Havilah’s Podcast Alli on YouTube Apply for a FREE Coaching Call with Alli Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

Is Social Media Destroying our mental health, how to make changes in life, and how to balance work and rest with Terra Mattson

Hey friend! We are back with my dear friend, Terra Mattson diving into why we do what we do, how to be even more emotionally healthy, and learning what we need to know to have a great year. In this part two episode, we talk a lot about social media. How do we as adults self-regulate and use social media well? Then we dive into how to guide our teenagers to set boundaries and use social media in a healthy way in this digital age.  Terra Mattson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who has practiced for nearly two decades and oversees a team of 20 clinicians.  Terra is the co-host of The Living Wholehearted Podcast with her husband Jeff. On the podcast, they candidly share relational wisdom from the home to the workplace.  Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  What work and rest look like and how it is different for different people Using social media well Guiding our teenagers to use social media in a healthy way with boundaries Terra’s best advice for making changes in 2024 Favorite quotes: “Research shows that the quality of our relationships is what determines our long-term peace and our long-term happiness in life so invest in them. Relationships are the key to our emotional health.” “There is this wide variety of what God calls good and very good. Discovering who we are and living within each of our designs is part of the freedom.” “I am starting to see a little bit of a shift with social media. The only way to do it well is you have got to learn and know how to regulate your own emotions and self-care.” “At the end of the day, our greatest change and our greatest impact come from face-to-face, person-to-person relationships.” “Pick one small shift and be consistent with it throughout the whole year.” Coaching this week:  5 Questions to Ask About Your Relationships (27:46)  Links to great things we discussed:  Terra Mattson Website Terra Mattson Instagram The Living Wholehearted Podcast Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace Alli on YouTube Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir 12 Rules for Life Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

The shocking thing that keeps women stuck and the truth about toxic relationships with Terra Mattson

The shocking thing that keeps women stuck and the truth about toxic relationships  with Terra Mattson Hey Hey! It’s a new year and I’m so happy you are here. Today we are talking about familiarity and how easy it is for us to get stuck, self-sabotage, and fall into the familiar. Have you ever wondered why you keep going back to what is familiar? On the show, we discuss why we always go towards what is familiar and how to create habits to change and deepen our emotional maps.  Terra Mattson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who has practiced for nearly two decades and oversees a team of 20 clinicians.  Terra’s first book,  Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace, reminds us that the transformation of our relationships, communities, and culture begins with God’s work in our own lives. Her second book, Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Between What Leaders Preach and Live calls readers to discover how real leadership is a way of being and how it’s sustained over the long haul. Join Terra and I as we discuss:  How it is easy for us to fall into familiarity Creating habits to deepen our emotional maps Why familiarity can keep us stuck Being honest in toxic relationships Favorite quotes: “So whatever we do in life, we tend to be drawn towards what is familiar and what we grew up with intentionally or unintentionally.  Part of the challenge is learning what that is, deciding if that is really healthy, and how to slowly start to make some shifts.”   “No matter how healthy we are or how aware we are we still can be in a fallen world around toxic people.”   “Anything that is unfamiliar is uncomfortable for a time.”   “Part of learning and growing in maturity is being able to trust your own discernment.”   “We do not change by knowledge alone. The way God made it, we change by new experiences over and over and over.” Coaching this week:  5 Powerful Self-Reflection Questions (29:54)  Links to great things we discussed:  Terra Mattson Website Terra Mattson Instagram The Living Wholehearted Podcast Shrinking the Integrity Gap Alli on YouTube Little Things Studio Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Find Your Rhythm

Hey Friend! Merry Christmas! We are in our final week of sharing some of my favorite books.  This week we are diving into Chapter 7, Time: Finding Your Rhythm in a World of Overwhelm from my book, Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy. No one is living their life where they are not busy, right? We all have something to do, whether it is a work project, raising our kids, etc.  Breaking Busy" gets into all the stuff in our lives, both the obvious and the hidden, that's just adding to our chaos and busyness. As we're gearing up for the new year, it's a great time to think about the year we want and how we want to feel. A big part of that? Looking at how we're spending our time. It's key for setting up a year that really feels good. Make sure to stick around to the end to hear some practical tips and advice on setting boundaries on our time and live with more intentionality as we head into 2024. Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  How using a time diary changed my life and can change your life What is “ tyranny of the urgent” and how even Jesus set boundaries Choosing discomfort over resentment Practical tips on setting boundaries  What to take out and what to add in when it comes to time management. Favorite quotes: “The truth is when you are successful, spiritually healthy, and emotionally healthy it benefits everybody.” we want to feel this next year, examining how we spend our time is really the key.” “The truth is that whether you are the manager of a home, CEO of a company, or a busy entrepreneur, your ability to be successful is equal to your physical and mental health and your ability to manage your time and energy.” “Instead we should be doing more activities that actually make us happy and help us grow into who we are meant to be. But we’re never going to get to those activities if we don’t first set our goals and our priorities.” “Make sure you spend time doing things that get you closer to your goals.” “Finding your rhythm and managing your time is about being proactive and leaving room for things in life that are the most important. We have to intentionally manage our calendars so we can give priority to the most important things.” Links to great things we discussed:  Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee - Maverick City Music Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Develop Strength

How to Develop Strength Hey Friend! This week, I am sharing another special message from my book, Standing Strong, that is especially relevant right now.  On the show today, we’ll dive into Chapter 1 of my book, Standing Strong: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence. This chapter is titled “You Were Born for This” and I hope you will find it super encouraging.  If you are in a season of life with adversity, with struggles, you have battled with a lack of self-confidence, or you feel God nudging your heart toward something in the future, this episode is for you! It is my sincere hope for you that this chapter brings peace about the future and encourages you to move forward with the things God has placed on your heart. With God, we have everything we need to do what he has called us to do. When we step into our gifts and our callings, we can change the world around us.  Listen in on this audio chapter to hear:  Defeating self-doubt and moving on to God’s purpose in your life Why God is calling you to more than enough How to stand strong in God’s power 5 ways to be a great woman of God Favorite quotes: “God has great plans for every woman but women of our generation are either held back by crippling self-doubt or diverted with this attractive message of self-empowerment.” “Without Jesus, success is empty; it’s based on our own striving, and it leaves women feeling like they are lacking, have failed, or just aren’t enough to achieve their hopes and dreams.” “The Holy Spirit tells us it’s time to stop playing small and to embrace the great gifts God has given us.” “God has a habit of raising up great women in every era, and he wants you to join this lineage.” “You were born for this - to shake off limitations that others have put on your life. You were born to tear down the beliefs you have about yourself that are wrong and you were born to embrace the calling that God is wooing you toward.” Coaching this week:  Tactical Procrastination (43:25)  Links to great things we discussed:  Christmas Is A-Comin - Bing Crosby Imprint Standing Strong: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Overcome the Fear of the Future

How to Overcome the Fear of the Future Hey! Hey! Today we are continuing December’s book chapters.  I’m bringing you a chapter from my book Fierce Faith, all about overcoming the fear of the future. On the show today, we’ll dive into Chapter 9 of my book, Fierce Faith: A Woman's Guide to Fighting Fear, Wrestling Worry, and Overcoming Anxiety.  Listen in to hear how to stop the fear of things falling apart in the future from slowing us down. Stick around for the practical action steps. It’s a perfect message as we prepare for the new year. Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  Overcoming the fear of the future Avoid being stuck in your own wilderness How to stop catastrophizing the future A battle plan to fight your fear of the future Favorite quotes: “We often don’t realize our own fear of the future is stopping us in our tracks, keeping us stuck, and wondering why we have a low-grade suspicion that we aren’t really living the life we were created to live.” “We are so busy looking for the perfect set of circumstances to line up with what we think we must have, we completely miss out on what God had for us all along.” “Focusing on God’s faithfulness frees us from being bound by fear.” “Remembering what God has done in the past for you is the secret to finding strength for today’s battles.” “As we face our future, the one God has mapped out for us, we can face it with hope. He knows who we are, he knows who he created us to be, and we aren’t going to fall apart, because in His hands, in His plan, we don’t have to fear the future.” Coaching this week:  3 Simple Things To Make Your Life Easier (33:38)  Links to great things we discussed:  Lastpass Pure Encapsulations O.N.E. Multivitamin The Marvels O Come All Ye Faithful - Josh Groban Electric Throw Blanket Standing Strong: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Build the Right Friendships

Hey hey! Healthy good friendships are so important in a mother’s life and their children's lives.  Today’s show is a special one, featuring the friendship chapter from my newest book, Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood. The research kept showing that the right friendships were important in a mother’s life. Studies even showed that children in their developing years had better levels of child development if their moms had a good two or three friends for support systems and great socialization. So this is not something we have the luxury to ignore.  I wrote Remaining You While Raising Them to help women find freedom from the heavy weight of modern motherhood. I can’t give you a step-by-step plan to raise perfect children (an impossible dream!), but I can help you thrive as a happier, healthier mom, and friendship is a big part of that.  Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  Green and red flags to watch for in friendships The power of friendship in our lives How to use social media to actually make us feel better 3 habits for healthy friendships Favorite quotes: “Those little dreams that God plants in our hearts that seem impossible over time when we keep taking little steps with that power of 1%, we can reach our dreams.” “Friendships make us happier than any other kind of relationship.”  “Mom friendships benefit our kids. We’ve seen over and over that investing in our emotional health helps our children grow to be better adjusted, have healthier relationships, and be more successful in life.” “Social media can be a valuable tool for helping us feel connected, but it also has the capacity to make us feel lonelier if we don’t use it intentionally to build connections.” “Healthy, loving friendships are a gift from God. They are a key part of a happier life and a healthier mindset.”  “Friendships that are flexible, fun, and fulfilling are one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and your children.” Coaching this week:  The Info Diet (43:25)  Links to great things we discussed:  The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar Bless God - Brooke Ligertwood Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://alliworthington.com  

How to Rest with John Mark Comer

What would it look like to cut hurry out of our lives? Is that even an option for us?  If slowing down is a desire of your heart that feels like a pipe dream, join me for a conversation with John Mark Comer. John Mark gives us hope that it’s possible and practical tips to help us get there! John Mark Comer is the Founder and Teacher of Practicing the Way, a discipleship pathway to becoming like Jesus in community. Before starting Practicing the Way, John Mark pastored Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, for nearly twenty years.  John Mark is a husband, a father of three, and a New York Times bestselling author who has written six books. His book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry is at the heart of our conversation today.  Lean in and listen as John Mark and I discuss:  The Biblical theology of work  Why Sabbath is important, but it’s not the end goal  How practicing spiritual habits (including Sabbath!) points our hearts to the love of God Two different kinds of busyness and how each affects our souls Why hurry is incompatible with love, joy, and peace The first place to start as you begin to practice rest and Sabbath Favorite quotes: “The two major areas where we actually follow Jesus and work out our spiritual formation are family or close interpersonal relationships and work.” “We need as a general rule practices that help us slow down and break out of the mad rush through life.” “Sabbath is a practice by which we cultivate a spirit of restfulness. It’s not just one day of the week but seven days of the week.” “The goal is to become the kind of person in whom literally in our body, in our muscle memory, we have become people of rest.” “Love, joy, and peace are incompatible with hurry.” “Start where you are, not where you feel you should be.” Coaching this week:  The Compound Effect (42:05)  Links to great things we discussed:  John Mark Comer Website John Mark Comer Instagram The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry Garden City God Has a Name Favela The Crown Educated Open Orgain Organic Keto Vegan Protein Powder Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Remaining You While Raising Them Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli