The Alli Worthington Show

Writing It Down with Ally Fallon

Have you ever noticed how much power the simple act of putting pen to paper has? Whether we’re jotting down our to do list, writing out a prayer that’s too precious to speak, or organizing our thoughts when making a decision, writing things down signals to our brain it’s time to take action. And author Ally Fallon is here to tell us why! In her new book The Power of Writing It Down, Ally shares how writing every day can change our lives.  And she would know! She’s published over 13 books and coached hundreds of writers through storytelling workshops. And I’m so excited she’s joining me today to talk about using writing as a tool for personal growth.  We talk about the science of actually writing our prayers, words, and thoughts down and how we can remove some of the self-inflicted pressure that makes us feel stuck. She also gives us her best tips to develop a daily writing practice and reveals the #1 reason people avoid writing things down. Tune in for the whole episode to hear us talk about:  How writing things down enables you to tap into parts of your brain that are on cruise control most of the time. Being the hero of your own story and what can change when we challenge our victim mindset. The shared connection between the practice of writing and talk therapy (and how it may even help the work being done!) Favorite quotes: 1. In the modern world writing is not an option, it's a necessity, we're all doing it. And the data is really clear that a regular practice of writing can produce really meaningful and positive change in our life. 2. The fastest way to write something bad is to be like I've got to write something good. 3. Truth has a strong reputation for getting us out of ruts. When we access the truth, even if the truth is uncomfortable and we wish that weren't the truth, that's usually the thing that unlocks our path forward. 4. Great stories start with great questions. If you don't like the story you're telling, ask better questions.   In this episode I answer these questions: 1. How do you regulate the time you spend on your phone?  (43:40) Great things we discussed:  1. Ally Fallon2. The Power of Writing It Down 3. Swingin’ 4. Imposters 5. Know My Name 6. Ergobaby 360 7. Ted Lasso  8. Hymn Medley  9. Standing Strong Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  www.alliwortghington.com/allyfallon/

Parenting From a Place of Peace with Crystal Paine

We’re shifting gears this week and talking about parenting! I don’t usually cover parenting here on the show, so I invited my good friend Crystal Paine to join me.   Now, you may know her as the Money Saving Mom, but her message goes beyond good deals at the grocery store. And I’m so glad she’s with us today to talk about what it’s like to be vulnerable, especially when it comes to parenting our children.    We dive into love-centered parenting, mom guilt, and what happens when we let our kids make mistakes. She also talks about her latest book and the hard-won lessons she’s taken away from shifting from results-based parenting to a love-centered model of raising her kids.   You’re going to want to stay until the end of this episode, friends! Tune in to hear: Crystal’s journey with one of her children, who was experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts How our mental, physical and spiritual health affect our parenting styles and choices Practical tips for productive communication with your kids and how to ask for (and accept!) their feedback     Favorite quotes:   1. When we cram truth in and we continue to call out the lie and  replace it with truth, it rewires our brain. Like scripture talks about renewing our mind, it's that rewiring of the way that we've always thought that allows us to renew instead of walking in lies and letting those lies be what we lead with. It allows us to have freedom and to walk in truth, and then to live out of that truth.2. Are the words that you are saying to yourself, about yourself and letting just kind of swirl around in your brain, are those words that you would say to other people?   3. Our kids are paying attention to that life we're living before them. And that’s probably going to be the most powerful sermon we are ever going to preach to them.   4. Ultimately, I want to be able to send my kids out as adults, not dependent children. And so if I'm going to do that, I have to let go and not just create all these rules in order to protect them from never getting hurt, never having to make choices and never making mistakes.   5. How we interact with our kids affects how they view God.   In this episode I answer this business question:   Would you rather have in your team a nice fool or a reliable jerk?  (40:01)   Great things we discussed: 1. Crystal Paine: The Money Saving Mom & On Instagram @TheMoneySavingMom2. Love-Centered Parenting  3. Graves Into Gardens 4. Off The Clock5. We Were The Lucky Ones6. Laura Vanderkam’s Track Your Time 7. The Lord Of The Rings   8. God Of Israel   9. Standing Strong     Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)   xo, Alli   www.alliworthington.com/crystalpaine/

Defeating Our Doubt and Disbelief with Angie Smith

Today I’m with the hilarious, vibrant Angie Smith. She is the author of Woven: Understanding the Bible as One Seamless Story and I couldn’t be more honored to have her by my side as we talk doubt and disbelief.  We all have moments where we doubt God’s plan for us and, maybe, even wonder if He’s really even there. Certainly, a loving God wouldn’t allow us to suffer or withhold the things we most desire, right?  Friends, I’m here to tell you that doubt and disbelief happen to all of us, even the most public Christian figures, writers, and speakers. But doubt doesn’t surface because we don’t want to believe. Instead, it helps us gain clarity on what we believe in and reveals the true nature of our faith.  That’s why I’m so glad Angie is here with me today. She shares her own experience of trying to run from God during a traumatic season, how doubt affected her faith journey, and what we can do to process the guilt that sometimes comes along with disbelief.    Join us for the conversation as we talk about:  How God continues to call us, even during the most traumatic time of our lives.  How our doubt is proof that we want to be reminded that God is real.  And about that time that Angie broke into an American Airlines lounge.    Favorite quotes: 1. I feel like through the process of this I lost my dad and I found my Father again. 2. For a lot of us, the doubting doesn’t come because we don't want to believe, it comes because we so desperately want to. 3. People don’t feel smart enough to study the bible. They feel like it's all been figured out. But here's this and it's super empowering that we have access to all of these things and we can look it up. 4. I always say go into scripture with curiosity. I think that starts to uncover all of these “wait, I didn’t know” moments. Then you kind of chase that rabbit for a little bit.   Links to great things we discussed:  1. Angie Smith  and on Instagram @officialangiesmith2. Woven  3.Summer of 69 4. Africa 5. Married At First Sight 6. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality 7. EyeVac Home  8. Dunkirk  9. Promises  10. Standing Strong    Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli    www.alliworthington.com/angiesmith/

Transforming Your Marriage (Not Your Spouse!) with Toni Nieuwhof

Our marriage mini-series continues this week with a question we’ve all likely asked ourselves at some point in our lives: wouldn’t I be better off alone? It’s a question that creeps up on us in moments where we feel stuck, overwhelmed and disconnected from the person that matters most.    This week, Toni Nieuwhof joins me on the show to talk about those moments of doubt, guilt and worry that affect our relationships. She has worked with hundreds of families over the years, often as a divorce attorney, and she tells us what she’s learned from those difficult experiences along with the important lessons she and her husband, Carey, have learned as they took their own marriage from unhappy to thriving.   In today’s episode, Toni shares research-driven data, real-life examples and practical tools to transform struggling relationships into healthy, safe spaces. We also chat about her book, Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage, and she gives her best advice for fighting for the couple instead of yourself and how the light of Christ can help us identify self-limiting beliefs.    Some of my favorite moments from our conversation include:   1. The 5:1 ratio and its importance in our interactions with our spouse, significant others, and even our children.  2. How kindness and respect are essential pillars of the family space and how we can use them to change our family dynamic. 3. How our reliance on God and those we’re in relationship with can help us become fully alive.   Favorite quotes: 1. Sometimes looking inside is scary. Or it feels painful. And yeah, there's some pain to go through, but if you can sit with it and not back away, and just move through that pain, there's just something so beautiful on the other side.2. The victim story you may be telling yourself is probably blurring your vision. 3. We had to come to the point where we could realize that the only emotions we can really try to influence or control are our own.   4. Just sit with your spouse's emotions and validate them, and accept them for what they are.  5. It's really hard when you're in the midst of the struggle to recognize just how much value your spouse has in the eyes of your child. Your child needs both of you.   Great things we discussed:  1. Toni Nieuwhof 2. Before You Split  3. Gratitude 4. Pride & Prejudice 5. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget 6. Raw Hemp Seeds 7. Window Bird Feeder  8. Titanic  9. Gladiator  10. Standing Strong   Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)   xo, Alli    www.alliworthington.com/toninieuwhof/

Rebuilding Your Marriage with Kevin Myers

Hey friends! We’re kicking off a mini-series on marriage this week, and I couldn’t be more excited to share this conversation with you!  Marriage is a beautiful and life-giving experience for many of us because we have a trusted partner by our side to celebrate the good times and weather life’s unexpected storms. But sometimes the storms can begin to overwhelm the relationship, and we can easily find ourselves in a relationship that looks nothing like it did when it began.  Today, author and 12Stone Church senior pastor Kevin Myers and I talk about tackling common marriage problems, rebuilding our relationships, and making them stronger than ever before.  We also talk about his book The Second Happy along with seven strategies to rebuild your marriage, how to use prayer to work on internal problems that help us (and our spouse!), and how to evict the elephants in your marriage.   Listen in to hear: How fighting fairly allows for intimacy in a relationship and how this intimacy helps us grow closer as a couple and with God. How to view conflict resolution through “buckets” and when to apply water on your issues instead of gas.  How God can help us with our marriage through thoughtful and intentional prayer.   Favorite quotes: 1. I think a lot of times people feel the weight of carrying both sides of the problem and you can't. You can only carry your side. 2. You realize in the life of ministry, if you're really devoted to helping people, that some things are broken that they can't fix and only God can fix. 3. Everybody in the church carries two buckets and you're either adding to harmony or conflict, but you're never neutral. 4. We tend to use marriage rather than build it, because we're trying to build so many other things in our world. 5. You cannot consistently pray over someone you love and consistently despise them.   In this episode I answer this question:   What’s your take on the law of attraction?  (36:52)   Great things we discussed:  1. Kevin Myers at 12Stone2. The Second Happy: Seven Practices To Make Your Marriage Better Than Your Honeymoon 3. Stairway to Heaven4. The Mandalorian5. Change Your World 6. Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secrets 7. Groundhog Day8. The Schuyler Sisters 9. Guns and Ships 10. Standing Strong   Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli    www.alliworthington.com/kevinmyers/

How (Not) to Read the Bible with Dan Kimball

I started this podcast to create a safe space for exploring our faith, our beliefs and new ideas. Well, friends, this conversation with Dan Kimball delivers and I can’t wait for you to hear it!   Dan is an author who focuses on encouraging us to think creatively about breaking the negative stereotypes both the church and Christians face. And our conversation today is inspired by his new book, How (Not) to Read the Bible: Making Sense of the Anti-women, Anti-science, Pro-violence, Pro-slavery and Other Crazy-Sounding Parts of Scripture.    During our time together, we talk about the dangers of using Scripture out of context and what we can do when someone uses the Bible against us to discredit our beliefs. Dan also gives us a helpful lens to use when reconciling challenging parts of the Bible, especially violence and slavery, with our faith.    And don’t worry, we wrap up the episode with some fun talking about why Scripture is anti-shrimp, how to get a donkey into a bathtub, and if there are really unicorns hiding out in the Bible.   In this episode, Dan and I talk about: The truth of God’s character and how we can learn from everything in the Bible, including themes of violence  How information is our strongest defense when it comes to safeguarding our faith, especially for younger generations Seeing the Bible as a library instead of a science manual and how we can use it to inform our modern-day questions, but not necessarily answer them.    Favorite quotes:   1. Most Christians are not prepared to address the not-so-nice sounding bible verses. We just have to be prepared.    2. We have to know how to read our bible, the good verses and the crazy sounding verses. 3. Never read a bible verse by itself.    4. The bible was written to other people. But it was written for us so we can understand who God is.    5. We have turned the bible into a science manual trying to get our modern day questions and that wasn’t its intent. Links to great things we discussed:  1. Dan Kimball 2. How (Not) to Read the Bible: Making Sense of the Anti-women, Anti-science, Pro-violence, Pro-slavery and Other Crazy-Sounding Parts of Scripture3. The Fat Man4. The Chosen 5. Greenland  6. Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy With God7. Skull Socks 8. Max Richter Sleep Album 9. Standing Strong    Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)   xo, Alli

Taking Action In The In-Between Place with Kat Armstrong

So many of us are finding ourselves in a place of uncertainty about what happens next. We know that we need to move forward, but how do we do it? And how do we bring our friend Jesus along to help us through whatever despair we might encounter?   Kat Armstrong is joining me on the show today to help us take action, even if things feel a bit unstable. Kat is a Bible teacher, author, and fellow curly-haired girl is passionate about encouraging women to be all in for Jesus. And I just know you’re going to love what she has to say!   We talk about her latest book The In-Between Place: Where Jesus Changes Your Story along with the places and times in our life we personally feel or have felt stuck. Plus, she shares some practical tips and advice about making peace with the past, finding hope in the present and stepping into the future.    Listen in for our conversion that covers:    1. How the presence of Jesus changes everything, even in our difficult in-between places 2. The way God uses our deepest needs to bring about meaningful moments in our faith 3. The importance of being brave enough to ask hard questions and accept hard truths despite how we feel 4. How we can use imaginative prayer when our challenges prevent our forward momentum   Favorite quotes:   1. Jesus has good things planned for us, but where we are right now is difficult, that’s our in-between space.   2. Crappy places can be redeemed.   3. Some of the things I am grieving, that I am facing, I can’t put a pretty bow on some of this. I know I can get through this. My soul is not despairing. I have hope in Jesus.   4. If we keep our eyes on Christ, he will take us through the messy middle. He is in it with us.   In this episode I answer this question:   1. I keep bumping against struggles in my business. How do I know if it's time to stop?(42:02)   Great things we discussed:    1. Kat Armstrong   2. @KatArmstrong1 on Instagram     3. The In Between Space    4. Imaginative Prayer    5. Make Room    6. Little Women    7. Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership    8. Standing Strong   Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli    www.alliworthington.com/katarmstrong2/

Finding Your Gifts with John Bevere

Hi friend! I’ve got fan favorite John Bevere on the show today. John is a best-selling author, international speaker, and follower of Christ, and I always walk away from our conversations feeling inspired and motivated in both my work and my relationship with God.   In John’s latest book X: Multiple You God-Given Potential, he helps us think differently about what we are called to do and consider why God called us to do it.    And in today’s conversation, he shares real-life experiences and practical applications with us so we can identify our unique gifts and make a greater impact in the world for God (and not just in the moments that we deem sacred).   In this episode, we chat about: The concept of spiritual gifts and how they don’t show up for everyone at the same time Shifting our mindset when we are called to do something that doesn’t feel like a natural fit The way God engages with our frustrations and why he does so How to find our roles, both inside and outside of the church.     Favorite quotes:   1. Every single human being whether you are a stay at home mom, your an ER nurse, or your a hairstylist, every single person has a call of God on their life to build the kingdom of God. 2. We don’t shine by what we say, we shine by how we excel with our supernatural gifts on our life. 3. I think a big aspect of building the kingdom is completely missed because we limit it down to church on Sunday, the pastor on the platform. 4. We will never ever be truly satisfied until we take what is uniquely in us and we multiply it for the benefit of others.   Great things we discussed:    1. John Bevere 2. X: Multiply Your God-Given Potential  3. The Blessing 4.  Hacksaw Ridge 5. The Pursuit Of God 6. Instant Pot  7. WandaVision    8. Valentines Day Gift Guide 9. Called Creatives   10. Standing Strong   Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)   xo, Alli    www.alliworthimgton.com/johnbevere

Learning to Rest with Christy Nockels

If God asked you to take a step back from something you truly loved to rest more fully in His love, could you do it?   This thought-provoking, and maybe even challenging, question is where we pick up the podcast this week. And I’m joined by author, worship leader, and mother of three Christy Nockels, who knows first hand what it means to transform the soul by learning to rest.    She shares the full story in her new book The Life You Long For: Learning to Live from a Heart of Rest (available February 16), but I’m delighted to have her on the show today to share what she’s learned throughout the years as she embraced the sacrifices the Lord asked her to make.    Some of my favorite highlights from our conversation include: How the challenges of 2020 ultimately forced us to rest and reevaluate the meaningful things in our lives, including our relationship with God and family What caused Christy to completely change how she interacts with those around her Why we should look for opportunities to lead ourselves back into the heart of rest (and how to identify them!)     Favorite quotes:   1. There’s a hustle that actually holds us back. Our hustling ends up preventing the supernatural work of God in our lives. 2. He called me home to take care of my kids so I can be his kid again. 3. So often I think He leads through our desires.  4. If you just hit the bullseye, God will take care of all the outer rings of your life and God will show you his glory.   In this episode I answer these questions:   1. What’s a simple change I can make in my conversations that will help me seem more confident?  (39:03) 2. Why does God not answer some prayers? (40:30)   3. Do I need to create a business plan for my new business?  (43:02)   Great things we discussed:  1. Christy Nockles2. The Life You Long For  3. Heart Of Worship4. Iron Man5. Abiding In Christ6. The Ruthless Elimination Of Hurry 7. Kieh's Epidermal Re-texturizing Micro Dermabrasion 8. Knives Out 9. Soul   10. Standing Strong  Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli    www.alliworthington.com/christynockels/

Surviving the Storms with Ruth Schwenk

Hi friends! We’ve been through a lot over the past year, as people, as communities, as a nation and world. And although there is comfort to be found in suffering through hardships together, what happens to our souls when we’re left suffering privately or by ourselves?   My good friend Ruth Schwenk is joining me on the show today to help us figure that out. Ruth is an author of many wonderful books about parenting, the founder of TheBetterMom.com, and the co-founder of FortheFamily.org.   But what I’m really excited about is her most recent book she co-wrote with her husband Patrick. It’s called In a Boat in the Middle of a Lake: Trusting the God Who Meets Us in Our Storm.    She talks about this new book along with an update on her husband’s health, which inspired the idea of writing about God meeting you in the roughest waters and in the darkest storms.    We also chat about some practical tips on how to take care of yourself right now, even if you’re sitting in the middle of one of those dark, stormy lakes.    Stick around for the whole episode to hear:   Ruth sharing some of the ways God has used suffering and trials to change and teach His people.  How suffering can be a form of education and how God protects us through unanswered prayers. When it’s okay to take a step back from giving of your time and resources (and who you should surround yourself with and why!)   Favorite quotes:   1. When we’re put in the middle of a storm our faith is tested. It exposes what we really believe about God. And honestly that’s where God really grows us and helps us learn because we have no other choice but to cling to him in that.2. The biggest thing he does in our suffering is helps us to turn to him and deeper and grow our faith. 3. It’s ok to sit in your pain. It’s not comfortable. Who wants to sit in their pain? But it’s the day after day, step after step looking towards him that he used to change us. 4. I think in dryness and in burnout, he’s using that to purify our faith and to deepen our faith. He wants us to keep seeking him. Eventually if we keep seeking him day after day we discover that he was there all along waiting for us.    In this episode I answer this question:   1. How should I handle fasting as someone who has a tendency to have an eating disorder? (41:32) Great things we discussed:    1. Ruth Schwenk2. In A Boat InThe Middle Of The Lake  3. Hillsong Young and Free 4. When Calls The Heart 5. The Lighthouse Keeper’s Daughter 6. Davines Minu Shampoo  7. Nakee Butter   8. Standing Strong Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli   https://alliworthington.com/ruthschwenk2/