The Alli Worthington Show

The shocking thing that keeps women stuck and the truth about toxic relationships with Terra Mattson

The shocking thing that keeps women stuck and the truth about toxic relationships  with Terra Mattson Hey Hey! It’s a new year and I’m so happy you are here. Today we are talking about familiarity and how easy it is for us to get stuck, self-sabotage, and fall into the familiar. Have you ever wondered why you keep going back to what is familiar? On the show, we discuss why we always go towards what is familiar and how to create habits to change and deepen our emotional maps.  Terra Mattson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who has practiced for nearly two decades and oversees a team of 20 clinicians.  Terra’s first book,  Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace, reminds us that the transformation of our relationships, communities, and culture begins with God’s work in our own lives. Her second book, Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Between What Leaders Preach and Live calls readers to discover how real leadership is a way of being and how it’s sustained over the long haul. Join Terra and I as we discuss:  How it is easy for us to fall into familiarity Creating habits to deepen our emotional maps Why familiarity can keep us stuck Being honest in toxic relationships Favorite quotes: “So whatever we do in life, we tend to be drawn towards what is familiar and what we grew up with intentionally or unintentionally.  Part of the challenge is learning what that is, deciding if that is really healthy, and how to slowly start to make some shifts.”   “No matter how healthy we are or how aware we are we still can be in a fallen world around toxic people.”   “Anything that is unfamiliar is uncomfortable for a time.”   “Part of learning and growing in maturity is being able to trust your own discernment.”   “We do not change by knowledge alone. The way God made it, we change by new experiences over and over and over.” Coaching this week:  5 Powerful Self-Reflection Questions (29:54)  Links to great things we discussed:  Terra Mattson Website Terra Mattson Instagram The Living Wholehearted Podcast Shrinking the Integrity Gap Alli on YouTube Little Things Studio Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli  

How to Find Your Rhythm

Hey Friend! Merry Christmas! We are in our final week of sharing some of my favorite books.  This week we are diving into Chapter 7, Time: Finding Your Rhythm in a World of Overwhelm from my book, Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy. No one is living their life where they are not busy, right? We all have something to do, whether it is a work project, raising our kids, etc.  Breaking Busy" gets into all the stuff in our lives, both the obvious and the hidden, that's just adding to our chaos and busyness. As we're gearing up for the new year, it's a great time to think about the year we want and how we want to feel. A big part of that? Looking at how we're spending our time. It's key for setting up a year that really feels good. Make sure to stick around to the end to hear some practical tips and advice on setting boundaries on our time and live with more intentionality as we head into 2024. Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  How using a time diary changed my life and can change your life What is “ tyranny of the urgent” and how even Jesus set boundaries Choosing discomfort over resentment Practical tips on setting boundaries  What to take out and what to add in when it comes to time management. Favorite quotes: “The truth is when you are successful, spiritually healthy, and emotionally healthy it benefits everybody.” we want to feel this next year, examining how we spend our time is really the key.” “The truth is that whether you are the manager of a home, CEO of a company, or a busy entrepreneur, your ability to be successful is equal to your physical and mental health and your ability to manage your time and energy.” “Instead we should be doing more activities that actually make us happy and help us grow into who we are meant to be. But we’re never going to get to those activities if we don’t first set our goals and our priorities.” “Make sure you spend time doing things that get you closer to your goals.” “Finding your rhythm and managing your time is about being proactive and leaving room for things in life that are the most important. We have to intentionally manage our calendars so we can give priority to the most important things.” Links to great things we discussed:  Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee - Maverick City Music Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Develop Strength

How to Develop Strength Hey Friend! This week, I am sharing another special message from my book, Standing Strong, that is especially relevant right now.  On the show today, we’ll dive into Chapter 1 of my book, Standing Strong: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence. This chapter is titled “You Were Born for This” and I hope you will find it super encouraging.  If you are in a season of life with adversity, with struggles, you have battled with a lack of self-confidence, or you feel God nudging your heart toward something in the future, this episode is for you! It is my sincere hope for you that this chapter brings peace about the future and encourages you to move forward with the things God has placed on your heart. With God, we have everything we need to do what he has called us to do. When we step into our gifts and our callings, we can change the world around us.  Listen in on this audio chapter to hear:  Defeating self-doubt and moving on to God’s purpose in your life Why God is calling you to more than enough How to stand strong in God’s power 5 ways to be a great woman of God Favorite quotes: “God has great plans for every woman but women of our generation are either held back by crippling self-doubt or diverted with this attractive message of self-empowerment.” “Without Jesus, success is empty; it’s based on our own striving, and it leaves women feeling like they are lacking, have failed, or just aren’t enough to achieve their hopes and dreams.” “The Holy Spirit tells us it’s time to stop playing small and to embrace the great gifts God has given us.” “God has a habit of raising up great women in every era, and he wants you to join this lineage.” “You were born for this - to shake off limitations that others have put on your life. You were born to tear down the beliefs you have about yourself that are wrong and you were born to embrace the calling that God is wooing you toward.” Coaching this week:  Tactical Procrastination (43:25)  Links to great things we discussed:  Christmas Is A-Comin - Bing Crosby Imprint Standing Strong: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Overcome the Fear of the Future

How to Overcome the Fear of the Future Hey! Hey! Today we are continuing December’s book chapters.  I’m bringing you a chapter from my book Fierce Faith, all about overcoming the fear of the future. On the show today, we’ll dive into Chapter 9 of my book, Fierce Faith: A Woman's Guide to Fighting Fear, Wrestling Worry, and Overcoming Anxiety.  Listen in to hear how to stop the fear of things falling apart in the future from slowing us down. Stick around for the practical action steps. It’s a perfect message as we prepare for the new year. Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  Overcoming the fear of the future Avoid being stuck in your own wilderness How to stop catastrophizing the future A battle plan to fight your fear of the future Favorite quotes: “We often don’t realize our own fear of the future is stopping us in our tracks, keeping us stuck, and wondering why we have a low-grade suspicion that we aren’t really living the life we were created to live.” “We are so busy looking for the perfect set of circumstances to line up with what we think we must have, we completely miss out on what God had for us all along.” “Focusing on God’s faithfulness frees us from being bound by fear.” “Remembering what God has done in the past for you is the secret to finding strength for today’s battles.” “As we face our future, the one God has mapped out for us, we can face it with hope. He knows who we are, he knows who he created us to be, and we aren’t going to fall apart, because in His hands, in His plan, we don’t have to fear the future.” Coaching this week:  3 Simple Things To Make Your Life Easier (33:38)  Links to great things we discussed:  Lastpass Pure Encapsulations O.N.E. Multivitamin The Marvels O Come All Ye Faithful - Josh Groban Electric Throw Blanket Standing Strong: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Build the Right Friendships

Hey hey! Healthy good friendships are so important in a mother’s life and their children's lives.  Today’s show is a special one, featuring the friendship chapter from my newest book, Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood. The research kept showing that the right friendships were important in a mother’s life. Studies even showed that children in their developing years had better levels of child development if their moms had a good two or three friends for support systems and great socialization. So this is not something we have the luxury to ignore.  I wrote Remaining You While Raising Them to help women find freedom from the heavy weight of modern motherhood. I can’t give you a step-by-step plan to raise perfect children (an impossible dream!), but I can help you thrive as a happier, healthier mom, and friendship is a big part of that.  Listen in on these audio chapters to hear:  Green and red flags to watch for in friendships The power of friendship in our lives How to use social media to actually make us feel better 3 habits for healthy friendships Favorite quotes: “Those little dreams that God plants in our hearts that seem impossible over time when we keep taking little steps with that power of 1%, we can reach our dreams.” “Friendships make us happier than any other kind of relationship.”  “Mom friendships benefit our kids. We’ve seen over and over that investing in our emotional health helps our children grow to be better adjusted, have healthier relationships, and be more successful in life.” “Social media can be a valuable tool for helping us feel connected, but it also has the capacity to make us feel lonelier if we don’t use it intentionally to build connections.” “Healthy, loving friendships are a gift from God. They are a key part of a happier life and a healthier mindset.”  “Friendships that are flexible, fun, and fulfilling are one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and your children.” Coaching this week:  The Info Diet (43:25)  Links to great things we discussed:  The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar Bless God - Brooke Ligertwood Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://alliworthington.com  

How to Rest with John Mark Comer

What would it look like to cut hurry out of our lives? Is that even an option for us?  If slowing down is a desire of your heart that feels like a pipe dream, join me for a conversation with John Mark Comer. John Mark gives us hope that it’s possible and practical tips to help us get there! John Mark Comer is the Founder and Teacher of Practicing the Way, a discipleship pathway to becoming like Jesus in community. Before starting Practicing the Way, John Mark pastored Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, for nearly twenty years.  John Mark is a husband, a father of three, and a New York Times bestselling author who has written six books. His book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry is at the heart of our conversation today.  Lean in and listen as John Mark and I discuss:  The Biblical theology of work  Why Sabbath is important, but it’s not the end goal  How practicing spiritual habits (including Sabbath!) points our hearts to the love of God Two different kinds of busyness and how each affects our souls Why hurry is incompatible with love, joy, and peace The first place to start as you begin to practice rest and Sabbath Favorite quotes: “The two major areas where we actually follow Jesus and work out our spiritual formation are family or close interpersonal relationships and work.” “We need as a general rule practices that help us slow down and break out of the mad rush through life.” “Sabbath is a practice by which we cultivate a spirit of restfulness. It’s not just one day of the week but seven days of the week.” “The goal is to become the kind of person in whom literally in our body, in our muscle memory, we have become people of rest.” “Love, joy, and peace are incompatible with hurry.” “Start where you are, not where you feel you should be.” Coaching this week:  The Compound Effect (42:05)  Links to great things we discussed:  John Mark Comer Website John Mark Comer Instagram The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry Garden City God Has a Name Favela The Crown Educated Open Orgain Organic Keto Vegan Protein Powder Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Remaining You While Raising Them Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Live Life on Purpose with Tanya Dalton

Have you ever wondered how to get more out of your days? More productivity, more purpose, more progress…what’s the secret to getting there?  You are not going to want to miss my conversation with Tanya Dalton that I’m sharing again this week. Tanya was a stay-at-home mom who started her first business with $50. Since then, she has founded inkWELL Press Productivity Co., a multi-million dollar company that helps people overcome overwhelm and maximize success.  Tanya’s first book, The Joy of Missing Out, was named a Top 10 Business Book of the Year by Fortune Magazine. Her second book, On Purpose: The Busy Woman’s Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success, is a guide to becoming the best version of yourself.  Join Tanya and I as we talk about:  Why the typical “5 year plan” doesn’t work How to set the right goals for the life you want to have (and how to actually reach those goals) 3 things to do for a habit reset if we find ourselves off track Why people who love us sometimes don’t buy into our dreams  One strategy for going under the surface and getting to the root of limiting beliefs  Why balance isn’t what we are striving for after all  Favorite quotes: “The goals that you set for yourself need to be aligned with that vision that you have.” “It is the small steps that bring you joy and get the momentum.” “The most important person to get buy-in from is you. You have to believe in yourself before anyone else will.” “When we create an action roadmap we give ourselves the directions of where we want to go next.” “Overwhelm isn’t having too much to do. It’s not knowing where to start. When we know where to start we become empowered and confident.” “Productivity isn’t about doing more. It is about doing what is most important.” “There is no balance. We are chasing our tails and wearing ourselves out trying to get it.”  Coaching this week:  The Big 5 Personality Test (43:25)  Links to great things we discussed:  Tanya Dalton Website Tanya Dalton Instagram The Joy of Missing Out On Purpose: The Busy Woman’s Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success The Intentional Advantage Podcast The Beatles Ted Lasso Voxer Asana Big 5 Personality Test Atlas: Enneagram - Sleeping at Last  Pat McGrath PermaGel Eyeliner Pencil Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli www.alliworthington.com

How to Trust God More with Jackie Hill Perry, Sheila Walsh, and Nicki Koziarz

How to Trust God More If you want to trust God, but you’re just not sure how to do that, this episode will be a game-changer for you and your faith.  Our lives are busier than ever, with our attention being pulled in every direction. Not to mention the steady stream of unsettling, and sometimes scary, news that’s at our fingertips all day long. It can be hard to remember that God is always faithful, even when we feel afraid or out of sorts. In today’s episode, I’m sharing some of my favorite moments with amazing Bible teachers who help us remember who God is and why we can always trust Him. Join us as we talk about:   How understanding God’s holiness helps us trust Him with Jackie Hill Perry Daily practices for seasons of pain with Sheila Walsh Where to go in Scripture when we are struggling with doubt with Nicki Koziarz Favorite quotes: ~ “We need people in our lives to impart wisdom and we need people in our lives that we can impart wisdom to.”   - Jackie Hill Perry ~ “You are going to go through life trying to find a whole bunch of ways to understand yourself and the world around you but it is always going to fail you until you get to know God.”    - Jackie Hill Perry ~ “We all want life to be a quick fix and some things are not.”  - Sheila Walsh ~ “There is something about quiet and not feeling obliged to fill up the space with noise and just knowing my Father gets it.”  - Sheila Walsh ~ “For every hard thing that you and I will go through there is already someone in the scriptures who has overcome it.”  - Nicki Koziarz ~ “God is in charge of the plan. I am in control of my obedience.”     - Nicki Koziarz Coaching this week:  Mind Mapping (31:03)  Links to great things we discussed:  Jackie Hill Perry Website Jackie Hill Perry Instagram Holier Than Thou Sheila Walsh Website Sheila Walsh Instagram Holding On When You Want to Let Go Nicki Koziarz Website Nicki Koziarz Instagram Flooded Mind Node Paperlike Killers of the Flower Moon Firm Foundation - Maverick City Music The Ordinary Soothing & Barrier Support Serum  Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

How to Level Up Your Life with Andy Stanley, Mark Batterson, and Kendra Adachi

How to Level Up Your Life How can I make the smartest possible decisions? Can I create habits that will actually stick this time? What would it look like to prioritize what really matters to me?  If questions like these have come to mind lately, you’re not alone!  I’ve pulled together some of the best tips, life hacks, and advice we’ve gotten here on the show to bring you one episode that will help you level up your life! You don’t need to overhaul your life, because leveling up is actually about starting small.  Lean in and listen as we talk about:   5 questions to ask yourself for better decision-making with Andy Stanley  How our habits and our identity are connected with Mark Batterson Why naming what matters to you is essential to living your priorities with Kendra Adachi Favorite quotes: “The season you are in right now is really just a chapter in the whole story of your life and so one of the most important questions we can ask when we’re making decisions within a specific chapter is what story do I want to tell.” “There is a fundamental relationship between good decisions and good questions.” “My decisions really are the steering wheel of our lives. It is our super power. We get to decide how to move our lives forward.” “You have to 3M your habits. You have to make them measurable, meaningful, and maintainable.” “You need some people in your life who believe in you more than you believe in yourself.” “We think that starting small doesn’t make any difference but if you don’t start small you usually don’t start at all.” “Essentializing is about removing the things that don’t matter so we can give space, attention, and receive the joy from the things that do.” Coaching this week:  Mindset Shift that Helps with Self-Belief and Overcoming Challenges (45:31) Links to great things we discussed:  Andy Stanley Website Andy Stanley Instagram Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets Mark Batterson Website Mark Batterson Instagram Do It for a Day Kendra Adachi Website Kendra Adachi Instagram Goodness of God - CeCe Winans NIRA Pro Laser & Serum Collection Save $105 with Code -  ALLI10 Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://www.alliworthington.com/podcast  

How to Use the Enneagram to Get Emotionally Healthy with Bill and Kristi Gaultiere

Is the Enneagram just another personality test trend, or is it a truly helpful tool? Is it okay for Christians to use the Enneagram? Why are so many people afraid of using the Enneagram? Whether you love the Enneagram or are skeptical, stick around, because Drs. Bill and Kristi Gaultiere are here to help us process and move towards emotional health! Bill is a psychologist, Kristi is a marriage and family therapist, and together, they have counseled and ministered to people for thirty years. In 2009, they co-founded Shepherding the Soul, a nonprofit ministry that helps people discover and take their next steps toward Jesus, emotional health, and loving relationships.  Bill and Kristi’s newest book, Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith: Growing Emotionally and Spiritually through the Enneagram, is a roadmap to help us go from knowing our personality type to growing in wholeness, health, and love.  Lean in and listen as Bill, Kristi, and I discuss: Why people of faith are often resistant when it comes to doing emotional work How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy selfishness Using the Enneagram as a discipleship tool  Two things that lead to change (and how one of those pulls us towards being more like Jesus) The difference between caretaking and people-pleasing Favorite quotes: “Our emotions influence our faith.” “Emotions are valuable and God given.” “The healthier we are in ourselves, the healthier our faith can be.” “Jesus is the perfection of each of the Enneagram types.” “There are two things that lead to change - pain pushers or vision pulls.” “The Enneagram is helping us get under the surface into some stuff that is broken, painful, and unhealthy that we need to look at.” Coaching this week:  The Secret to Getting Motivated (25:28) Links to great things we discussed:  Bill and Kristi Gaultiere Website Bill and Kristi Gaultiere Instagram Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith: Growing Emotionally and Spiritually through the Enneagram Jesus, Name Above All Names - Naida Hearn Where To Find Me - Jet Trouble A Man Called Otto Shadowlands Immune Boost My Utmost for His Highest Dumb Money Old Navy High-Waisted Pull-On Pixie Wide-Leg Pants Remaining You While Raising Them Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://www.alliworthington.com/podcast